Fellowship

Fellowship
Editor's note: This was written in response to an article in "Glory in the Church" from Steve Staten of the Chicago church. "Glory in the Church" is available from DPI.

Happily, the Denver church recently took steps to improve the fellowship, incorporating some of these ideas. For example, weekly leader's meetings are no longer a separate event but are held during midweek assembly. The weekly "Bible Talk" times have given way to each "Bible Talk" group being empowered to plan its own agenda, based upon its own needs. As a result, the group my wife and I lead (which consists of families with children) has a 4-week rotation of events for each month. These are 1) men's event night, 2) women's event night, 3) whole group event and 4) "off" week. Our group events for the fall of 1999 has been bringing in mature and respected parents from outside of our group for Q&A sessions with our group on parenting topics; these have been a great success. The men's and women's event night activities are determined by the group, usually going to a restaurant for coffee and desert and fellowship/discussion times. We have found the format to work well with our group.

As with everything else on this website, I hope you find this article stimulating and helpful in your Christian walk.
- J.E.

Update, September 2000: We haven't been having leader's meetings much as all this past summer, just a couple congregational meetings. This format has freed up a lot of time. With the fall approaching, we are going to have leader's meetings every other week. The small group that my wife and I lead are having a series of Bible studies entitled "Making Sense of the Bible" loosely based upon "How to Read the Bible For All it's Worth." I'm including the notes for the series on the website.
- J.E.

Steve Staten’s article on fellowship was stimulating because it brought to mind the vision of what fellowship in the church can be. It also provided the impetus to investigate what can be done to restore a rich church fellowship to our lives today. He asked the question, "What would you do to change about the fellowship?" A great question. But before answering the question, let me tell about a few incidents from my life.

I received an email from a brother in Fort Collins last week. We knew each other back in the Chicago church 14 years ago. He had just been converted and was living with me for a while. I moved to Denver the following year, while he and his wife just moved here last year. His email said, "Let's get together sometime." My first thought was, "When in the world could we do that?" The obvious answer was that there would be no way to really find time to get together. Fortunately, we saw each other at the married retreat this past weekend and he and his wife got to spend some time with my wife and me.

Also at the married retreat, we ran into another couple that we hadn’t seen in months. They are in the North sector, but used to be in the South years ago. We were in each other’s weddings and were roommates in our single days. We got to spend a good bit of time just talking with them.

Why do I mention these stories? Fellowship is more than something that is done before a church meeting, after a church meeting, or during a short "fellowship moment." It is the outgrowth of relationships based upon each other’s faith in Christ and shared experiences. Without a relationship with Christ and with each other, fellowship doesn’t exist.

I remember the 1985 Boston World Missions Seminar. Hurricane Gloria forced the cancellation of the entire program on the Friday of the seminar. There were thousands of disciples from all around the country locked up in the Boston hotel complex with no seminar to go to. So what did we do? We fellowshipped! It was great. A little piece of heaven here on earth.

Fellowship takes time. It takes time to build relationships, and time to be encouraged by each other’s faithfulness. In our congregation, I am afraid that we sacrifice fellowship at the expense of the traditional agenda—songs, announcements, lessons, etc. Especially for those of us with young children, and we form the majority of the church. I can forget about having any real fellowship at a church meeting, because I need to "pick up my children" and then I need to ride herd on them until we depart the facility. My spouse or I can fellowship while the other watches our girls, but we both cannot really fellowship. And when services run late, we need to go. Those of you who are parents of young children know what I mean.

The richest moments of fellowship are stolen from something else. The talk with the couple from Chicago came because we both returned to the retreat early from lunch. The talk with the couple in the North came at the expense of us going to a class "late." The fellowship during the Boston Seminar was stolen from the seminar itself because of an act of God. Or at a recent leader’s meeting when the men finished before the women, and I got to spend ten or fifteen minutes talking with someone. Should the priority of fellowship be determined by accidents?

A person who eats only from three of the four food groups will not be healthy. Likewise, fellowship is intended to be a part of a balanced diet for the Christian. Without it, can a Christian be healthy or even survive?

How to improve the fellowship? First, free up the schedule. Those of us who lead attend leaders meetings, and d-groups. Plus we disciple at least two other people. Then there are studies and getting involved in special situations that need our attention—all on top of the basic Sunday, midweek and Bible talk events. There isn’t any time left for fellowship. If fellowship is important, then give it priority, not leftovers.

Congregational events like the married retreat, the 10-year and up devotional and congregational leaders meetings are great. The "Boulder Reunion." Not because of the lessons, though they might be wonderful. Not because of the program, which might also be wonderful. But because I get to see people I miss and don’t normally see.

Schedule creative congregational activities to allow fellowship to occur—it shouldn’t have to be "stolen." Ten minutes of singing, a few announcements, then read Philemon 1:6-7: "I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints." Then let the church refresh the hearts of the saints. Now that’s fellowship.