Unfortunately, this problem isn't new. Here are the statistics for the Denver church over the last 10 years (note: this article was written in 2000; numbers for years subsequent to the initial writing have been added as they have been available):
 

All of us must give some serious thought to what happens when people seek God through our outreach.

Is this Really a Problem?
Fall-aways and departures will always occur, but we have to decide if the percentage is acceptable, and if the reasons people leave are acceptable. And more importantly, we need to evaluate if we are righteous. Jesus had one of twelve leave, the apostles had some leave them also. While the pull of sin is strong, 3 of 4 people leaving seems excessive. In fact, this is the same number that has been cited as the departure rate in the "traditional" Churches of Christ, though I don't have recent statistics on this.

One might ask, "Does the good of the 12,000 faithful outweigh the bad of the 30,000 unfaithful?" Such question suggests that all 42,000 "had a chance" to be faithful. Some chose to stay faithful, others didn't. But I think that even by our own admissions, the good of the faithful doesn't sufficiently mitigate against the bad for the others. This is a serious problem that merits serious investigation. Yes, this really is a problem!

Fixes Through the Years
Over the years we have looked at a number of different solutions to this problem. Years ago the "counting the cost" process received attention, and in years past we haven't always dealt with weak people very well.

More recently, the "shepherding couple" approach has been developed, though this is not implemented uniformly throughout the churches. The idea is that mature "shepherding couples" would be trained to focus on and meet the needs of the weak and discouraged in the church. A couple years ago I taught a class to such a group in Denver, discussing how people "fall away" from a Biblical perspective; I'd like to see a study like my "Staying Faithful" study implemented as a part of some follow-up study series. Instinctively, a pro-active approach needs to be a significant part of the solution.

Recent suggestions here in Denver including the following items:

1. People are weak and have needs; the church needs to mobilize to meet these needs (like with special groups for chemical dependency, single parents, physically challenged; also taking communion to the absent, etc.)
2. The church needs to stop the worldliness that hampers relationships. Some people pursue worldly dreams (career, family) vs. spiritual dreams, and this hurts both them and the church.
3. The church needs to continue to find ways to allow people to use their gifts (1 Peter 4:10), making the church the rich and inclusive synthesis of its members that God intended.
4. Recognizing that some people are rebellious, don't give their hearts, are not open for long periods of time, and don't trust leaders, these walls need to be broken down.
5. Leadership needs to serve and not just exercise authority. Leadership can be too quick to write people off.

What causes disillusionment? I think it is the failed promise of church involvement. Like Alcoholic's Anonymous' "12 steps," we have our own "x-step" plan of a happy Christian life. The steps may include the following: daily bible study and prayer, attend all activities, reach out to others in personal ministry, have regular discipling in the hierarchy, share daily contact and encouragement with other disciples, submit to leadership, give generously to contributions, read assigned books, serve when called upon, deny yourself, and aspire to leadership. Implicitly if not bluntly, we say that "if you do all of these things, you are (or will be) a happy and faithful Christian."

It is important to realize that none of these things is bad or wrong (and in fact most are necessary), but here is the point: you cannot replace a relationship with God and true Christian  fellowship and service with a legalistic plan. This causes disillusionment, because it doesn't prepare a Christian for the kind of hardship that God has always used in dealing with his people as sons and daughters:

... you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,
"MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD,
NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM; [6] FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES,
AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES." (Hebrews 12:5-6)

Some Ideas for Solutions
I don't purport to have the "silver bullet" for a problem such as people leaving the church; in fact, I don't think a single "silver bullet" exists. But I think it is clear that we need to build people's relationships with God beyond the legalistic "daily quiet time." In addition, there are a few things I think we need to do to "get out of the way" in this regard:

1. We need to teach, teach, teach (and teach some more!) that failure and discouragement are part of the plan that God uses to shape the character of his people! The failures of our humanistic efforts should draw us near to God in humility and grace, not away from God in despair.
2. Make sure that conversions are more a response to God than human action and relationships. We teach this, but is it true in practice? It is well known that in outreach, a lot of effort is poured into studying with others. There are invitations, follow-up, studies, social involvements and the like. If the person being "converted" isn't responding to God and taking his own initiative very early in the process, he is ripe for rapid disillusionment and departure because his faith is not a result  of seeking God. In fact, one could even question if he was truly converted to God in the first place. Those people in Acts 2 didn't need some "hang time" with Peter before making their decision-- it was a clear-cut response to what God had done for them. I truly shudder whenever I hear a person, prior to his baptism, sharing plenty of thanks to all sorts of people who "helped him get there" but there is little or no mention of God or Jesus.
3. Do not put people-- even talented, effective or influential Christians-- in place as a mediator between God and men; only Jesus serves as this (1 Timothy 2:3-4). This is usually done by over-emphasis on church programs, submission to leadership, people-pleasing and the like. A relationship with God cannot be had by proxy. When people are more concerned about what the leader thinks, or what other disciples think, than about what God thinks, they don't have much of a relationship with God anymore and are ripe for disillusionment and losing heart.
4. Do not replace the purpose and ultimate end of faith-- an eternal relationship with God (2 Corinthians 5:1-5) with the mission to reach out to others (Matthew 28:18-19). In doing so, we make growth "God" and relegate God to second place. No wonder people leave-- we've taken away the reason they became Christians in the first place.
5. We need to establish an atmosphere of communication where all of the disillusioned can really talk about how they feel and genuinely be heard. They need to be a part of the process, not be viewed as an obstacle to the church's "already perfect" agenda. The last thing they need to be told is that "they are the problem," when in fact they are the ones God is using to help us solve the problem. How frustrated God must feel if we don't listen to them as the apostles listened to the Grecian widows in Acts 6.

And having addressed this individually, it also needs to be said that the movement as a whole also has to own this problem and come to terms with the true foundation of the faith of its members. Failure here also guarantees that the problem will continue-- into the new year and beyond. If we do what we've always done, we'll get what we've always gotten. If we want different results, we need to do something different.

I recently taught a class on Isaiah 40 and made constant mention of God's message to Israel in that time: God's plan for the future of Israel was about him, not about Israel. The point holds for today, too-- it is about God, not about us. I think if we put God in his proper position, ourselves in our proper position (coming to him in real humility instead of the pride of our accomplishments), and listen to the cries of our disillusioned brothers, we will go a long way towards reducing the number of people who leave the church. As I said before, we can't eliminate that possibility altogether, but we can go a long way towards fixing the "hole in the bucket." 3 out of 4 leaving is too many-- way too many.

Copyright © 2000 John Engler. All rights reserved. Send a letter to the editor concerning this article